ambition

Have you ever looked at your peers accomplishments and slowly feel as if your self-worth is depleting? As if what you've been pouring your life into hasn't been enough? This happened to me today. I was looking through some blogs and came across one by a girl who I graduated with, a girl who was a good friend of mine when I was in my primary grades. Suddenly I had that sinking feeling, how on earth did it happen? She is now a well-known personal stylist and I am a nanny. I had plans, idea's, I wanted to succeed. 


This is when I looked at my husband, almost near tears feeling rather worthless. "I've done nothing, I haven't achieved anything." He was quick to point out that I may not be accomplished in the sense of a career but, I have great worth and have accomplished many great things. I may not have spent the last four or five years studying to make a career for myself but, what I have been pouring myself into is extremely valuable and I have accomplished much. I have been pouring my heart and soul into people, specifically teenagers.
(a retro picture of me and some of my girls)


The past four (going on five) years I have mentored and built lasting positive relationships with young females. I have created a home that is a safe haven for both the girls I mentor as well as Ben's boys.



(Left- my twins I've been mentoring them since they were in grade 7. Right- me and two other leaders all dressed up from theme night...the them was "80's rock and roll")

Yes, I'd love it if those car seats in the back of my car were for my own children, but they aren't. I'd love to be an accomplished photographer but, that hasn't happened yet. I'd love many things but, that doesn't mean I have accomplished nothing. To some people having a career is really important, statues is important, making lots of money is important and as much as yes those things are nice, I've put relationships at a higher-archy and I've spent these last few years of my life investing in something that is incredibly important. I've invested in people, in teenagers. I have changed lives. God has changed lives and used me as his tool.

So yes, I may not be incredibly ambitious. I may not have the career of my dreams. I may not have finished college. BUT, I have helped people, and I feel so blessed to be able to say that my life has changed other peoples lives in a positive manner. 

I love what I have done and look forward to doing more.


 So for now, nannying gives me practice for parenthood so I'll be more prepared when we do get to put our own child's car seat into the back of our car. Mentoring gives me life and keeps me young. Investing in people....well people aren't ever out of style, what I do lives on. Trends may change, things may get worn through, but people are always important, people are always valuable, and the relationships I create are worth so much more than any career. It may not put money in the bank but boy does it feed the soul.


Do something today...that makes you happy. Do something today that will last through the trends and the changes. Feed your soul.

November. 24th 2010

Dear Husband,


Right now you are working away in our bedroom, typing, researching, reading. This past week has been so hard for you and you are stressing out. I've been busy working nine hours a day and have hardly seen you these last few days, you are such a hard worker. 


I just wanted you to know that I so amazingly proud of you and feel so blessed to be your wife. I am a lucky woman and I know that so much of what you are doing now is for me. You don't enjoy school but, you are going through it and finishing it for me, for us, for our future. 


Thank you so much for all you do for me. I truly have no idea where I'd be without you. You are amazing, and I know I am so loved by you. I love you darling, through and through. I am yours for ever. xoxoxxx.


-Wifey

Let it snow....

When we initially decided to move here I wiki'd Nanaimo to just get a little more in the know. I read about famous people who live here, history, industry,etc. Then I got to the bottom of the page where it talked statistics about weather. This is when I got excited. Where I used to live weather was typically pretty brisk in the winter. I remember as a middle schooler it once got down to minus forty and somehow the school was still open. So the fact that the record cold in January here was minus seventeen got me more than a little excited. I was thrilled. I would casually bring up in conversation the fact that the average temperature was plus two in January, you know just to make people envious. It was practically tropical! 


Yet, now I feel like I may have said too much all those months ago because it has been snowing here for four days, and there is no sign of it letting up. It isn't minus forty of anything...just a slightly brisk minus four. On top of that....we may have gotten used to the warmer weather quite quickly and well, we just aren't able to take this the way we used to. Hopefully this cold kick wont last too long because I would like to get back to being able to rub our warmth in peoples faces. That said, I am totally loving the snow and winter wonderland. I will try to get pictures up soon.

My New Home

Last time I posted I was still living in Cranbrook. What can I say? I've been busy, not necessarily with work, although with a start on Monday I am sure that will soon keep me fairly preoccupied as well. Trying to get our apartment feeling like home, putting up photos and getting things organized. I've been a pretty decent little housewife. On top of getting things organized at home I have also been busy finding my way through a new city. I can now say that I barely ever get lost, and even when I do I can, for the most part, find my way out. On top of that Ben has been going to school and we have both started volunteering with the Young Life here. With that here is a simple visual of my last few months.

(an Young Life event we did with our whole Young Life region of the Island)

(I live five minutes away from here.)

 (This may make me sound ridiculous but, when I first saw the glimmer of this shell I was so excited because I thought it was a pearl. I was saddened when I was wrong but, it makes for a great picture...or two)

Even though I have been busy figuring this place out there are still quite a few things I want to do. So...I think I will make a list and slowly cross things off.

1. Find myself a cute quite cafe.

2. Maybe find a knitting club of sorts...or make one myself.

3. Join a gym. (almost there)

4. Learn something new....maybe an instrument.

5. Go to Tofino.

6. Explore more of the Island with Ben.

7. Find a nice, inexpensive Hair Salon.

8. Build up my photography portfolio.

9. Try some new kinds of food.

10. Finish a knitting project. (Working on another new one!)

The world is full of wonders to be bored is self-imposed.