It's just after 5am

(written on October 8th)

my baby girl is trying her best to fall asleep near the foot of my bed. I've been up for an hour. I nursed her and her father took her sleeping little body off to bed. Then, I curled up comfy in my duvet and started my journey back to sleep. It didn't last long. Minutes later Isla threw herself into a tizzy and Ben answered her call.

He snuggled her close, wrapped her in blankets and rocked her. Eventually he had her practically asleep against his chest on the couch. Then, I had to pee. That sweet little girl who I thought was sleeping noticed me walk into the bathroom and was no longer okay with her sleeping arrangement, silly girl. So I brought her into the room and after a few moments realized she would likely to better if I just let her lay on the bed beside me, rather than against me. She quickly settled in on top of my down duvet, squirming and flapping like a little bird trying to find the best position and location. Rubbing her chin with her blanket. Occasionally she lets out a squawk and I "shh shh shh" her back to sleep. Now she sleeps near the foot of my bed.

I'm not sure if sleep is on its way to me though. I think someday we may need to invest in a bigger bed.

39/52

I have fallen off the wagon when it comes to posting the photographs of Isla, life has been busy. There have been photos take, our little lady has a ton of pretty portraits of herself taken every week, it's just been a challenge for me to actually get around to posting them on the blog. I will try harder but I can't make any promises. As I grow bigger and more full of baby it becomes more and more obvious to me that things like keeping up with this blog will become harder. I am hoping though, that this blog will once again become a place of refuge and I will be able to get past any writers block and get thoughts down on a page. At the moment though, it is hard to get thoughts to come through clear even within myself...pregnancy seems to do that to me. So, without further ado, A Photograph of my Sweet Daughter!

Isla: My dear you a girl all your own. You don't stop, running from one adventure to the next...part of the reason why it is so hard to get a photo of you that isn't blurry. On this particular day we went on an outing to the mall and although I didn't have change for the dollar rides you climbed in and out of them all over and over, enjoying all the buttons and the steering wheels.

Getting Caught Up (Four Weeks of Portraits)

We've been gone for a three weeks on holidays, and I was without the use of a laptop which was actually quite nice. So today I am finally sitting down and getting caught up on the weekly portraits.

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Isla: Your truly most happy when you are outside and free.

30/52

Isla: On this particular day you were a bit of a grouch so, I dressed you up like a little bumble bee hoping the spirit of the outfit would rub off on you...it seemed to have worked, at least a little bit.

31/52

Isla: Walking around camp like you own the place. You loved to choose your own direction and often people would just move around you as you were so small amongst a bunch of teenagers.

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Isla: Playing Peek-a-boo with mommy, pooping up from on the couch. Our last few days at camp were likely our best. You finally pooped those three bothersome teeth and were back to your usual self. You were eager to play and socialize with everyone.

28/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: you are such an inquisitive soul. I sit in front of you as you eat your granola and you jabber away with me then, I take out my camera...and it is now a game of "will mom let me have the camera."


Linking up with Jodi for the 52 project!

27/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: Touching all the flowers with the tips of your fingers as you walk past them on an early morning walk. A perfectly quite street for morning strolls.

Linking up with Jodi for The 52 Project.

26/52....and a little something more.

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: If you could spend your whole day picking flowers you likely would, and happily I may add. I think that may be part of the reason why your dad has yet to mow the lawn, the flowers are growing and you are so enjoying picking them.

Linking up with Jodi, for the 52 project.

*     *     *     *     *

Also, a little something special. Hope you enjoy!

25/52

Running a little late this week, I apologize.

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: After a day of being cooped up at home we ventured out to have some fun, you were the sweetest toddling about in the puddles and trying your best not to be sprayed.



Linking up with Jodi, for The 52 Project.

24/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: On this particular morning you insisted on going outside at 7am. There we walked in the quite, our street still as most were still sleeping. We waved at the neighbourhood cats and giggled as the morning breeze blew through our hair.

23/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: The new favourite thing is answering the door. We stand outside and knock, the door not quite closed all the way, you answer excitedly smiling ear to ear then say, "Bu bye" and close the door, and the cycle continues. We indulge you in this game for quite sometime as we so love how happy it makes you.



Joining with Jodi for the 52 project.

22/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: A moment outside with Nana and Papa, playing in the grass and picking the wee daisies. You definitely prefer the outdoors to the indoors. I foresee a lot of outdoor adventures with you this summer.



Linking up with Jodi for the 52 project.

Catching up. 20 & 21.

The last week and a half has been chaotic and well, things happened that made posting Isla's portrait from last week fairly challenging so, I am posting two portraits today. One from this past week and one from the week before.

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

20/52

Isla: You may have the sweetness nap time hair I ever did see. It seems to wake up happy. Just like you!

21/52

Isla: Finally home from our crazy adventure, having fun with daddy in the front yard blowing dandelions. Mom had fun trying out pigtails in your hair for the first time.

Linking up with Jodi.


*     *     *     *     *

As mentioned above this past week (+) has been a chaotic one. Last Saturday, May 17th, Isla and I left on what was supposed to be a wee weekend adventure. We were going to join Ben up at a Young Life Conference just outside of Princeton. We arrived in Princeton at around noon. Isla was happy to be out of the car and was quite enjoying all the people and new things, she was also very happy to see her dad.

Early Sunday morning, around 3am, I woke up with a LOT of pain and nausea and sat over the toilet trying to puke for about an hour. After nothing came of it I thought I'd try to get back to sleep, maybe I could sleep it off. I woke up and still felt quite ill but thought that maybe breakfast would settle my stomach. After breakfast, around 8:45am, I started walking back up to our room and ended up stopping several times because my side was aching so much.

Long story short I ended up having an emergency appendectomy that night, Sunday May 18th, at about 8:00pm.

We were very fortunate to have friends who lived in the town where I had the procedure and Ben and Isla were able to stay with them. We did the big drive home on Wednesday May 21st, and were finally back home on Thursday.

We have been so very taken care of and feel so fortunate to have such an amazing and caring community surrounding us. We are truly thankful to all those who have made this time of challenge so much easier. God has definitely shown us his love through those who have helped us through this.

I Am A Mother.

I remember being young and drawing pictures of what I wanted my family to look like when I was older.
My Husband.
My Children.
MANY Children.
the order, the age gap, the gender, the names. I would draw and I would image and I would dream.
I was a bit of an idealist, I'm still a bit of an idealist.
But,
Oh did I ever want to be a mother.

Now, here I am and I can say that - without a doubt - my dream has come true. I am a mother. It may not look exactly like the pictures I drew when I was young but, it is so much better.
Yes. There are days that are rough, there are days where I lose myself in the chaos that surrounds me, times where I clean up the same mess about a dozen times; There is diapers to be laundered, clothes to be folded, meals to be made, but that love...oh that love, it is all encompassing. The love for my child is more than I ever imagined. The way she smiles when I enter her room in the morning, how her sad sobs break my heart, how she knocks on the bathroom door when I'm bathing...expecting an invite.

I am not trying to say that being a mother is an easy job, I am not trying to down play any difficulty, because there is a lot, I'm saying that even if it is the most challenging job you will ever have it is the job you will love the most.

I often feel very blessed to be so lucky. There are many women out there that would love to be able to be a mother, there are many women who wish that they could be pregnant, women who are going through infertility, women who are looking into adoption, there are so many who long to be mothers. My heartaches for them, as they are mothers...they just have yet to hold their child. 

So to all the mothers out there
ALL of them (those trying to conceive, those going through a loss, those going through adoption, those that are young, those that are old, those who have mothered many through foster care, and those who are blessed to hold their child.)

Happy (late) Mothers Day! You are a Mother.

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A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, ever week, in 2014.

Isla: Besides being outside your favorite place is likely the window sill. You would sit there happily for hours if I let you. You are a keen observer and so enjoy watching the world around you, waving at everything that goes past our window. It is so very sweet.

Joining up with Jodi.

*     *     *     *     *

We have had a busy week, I can't believe that I am so late at posting. I swear it was just Sunday. I have a whole Mothers Day post written up that I just haven't had the chance to go through and edit/post. Hopefully things will slow down soon and I can finally get a chance to catch up.

18/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: A point and a grunt in the direction of the thing you want or the place you want to go. You are becoming even more determine and strong willed, even the way you communicate.

Joining up with Jodi for the 52 project.

*     *     *     *     *

This week has been a rough one. On Monday evening Isla became feverish and was quite fussy, the fever continued for a few days peaking and falling. On Thursday she was quite listless, honestly she had just not been herself at all during the week but having her lay in my arms for almost an hour not asleep but zoned out concerned me a LOT! So to the doctors we went. He was not sure what was going on and said he would like to see about getting a urine sample. We tried that evening with no success. Friday morning I went in to get her and started nursing and I noticed a rash on her torso and back. That's when I got concerned. Up to the ER we went and after hours of trying to collect a urine sample, thankfully no UTI, we were told she most likely had Roseola, not something too concerning. So now the rash has diminished and she is slowly becoming her old self. 

Parenting and Instinct.

I remember in school often wishing that things would come easy, I'd watch my peers as they raced through schoolwork and wonder, "how do they do it?". It wasn't as though the schoolwork was particularly challenging, most of the time I understood it quite well, it just took me so long to focus and get anything done. It was that way with most things in my life, they just didn't come easy, things just were challenging. Peers were challenging. I saw my older sister make a great group of friends and I envied her wishing that would just happen for me, it didn't. As an adult I am still confounded as to how one really makes good close friendships. I was bullied, not to make light of it, so people weren't really flocking towards me asking to be my friend. All my life I so wanted something to just fall perfectly in my lap and just click.

Then something did. Something came to me and made sense to me, I got something and loved it, and I was good at it - for the most part. It's not that it was simple or easy, no it is hard, it's just that it came naturally - instinctively even.

Motherhood.

I am not one to read a bunch of parenting books, so I didn't and I haven't. I am a pretty easy going person, maybe sometimes too easy going, and so I kind of just let things fall into place. I figured out my rhythm and just did what felt right to me. I didn't follow what it said in a book, or a blog, I followed what made sense to me. Most people would probably say I fall into the method of parenting called "attachment parenting" but honestly I'd just say my method is instinctive parenting. It came as second nature to me.

I was that kid who played dolls. I named my doll, I loved my doll, I would go to the thrift stores and buy tiny little sleepers for my little boy doll. I played with dolls until I was about 15, and even after that I would occasionally pick up my doll and hold him in my room as I sat in my bed doing homework or whatnot. I dreamed of motherhood. I could practically taste it. So, once it finally happened....I wanted to breath in every moment. My daughter was held a lot, close to my heart as the rhythm soothed her. She slept in a bassinet in our room until she was seven and a half months. She was my beautiful. She was my natural. She is what I did well.

I am by no means trying to say I am a perfect mom, or that my way is the only way. I am trying to say that for once I felt at home and comfortable with my ability. I knew what I needed to do to take care of my little baby's needs, and I did it well and smoothly.

I am an observer of my child, I am a student of my child, I watch her and learn her ways as she goes about her day. I figure out her cues and I watch her take in and absorb the world around her. I don't dictate play or routine, I also don't let her parent herself, I just figure out her needs and her signs for those needs and meet them in a way that is natural. I don't push my wants upon her, that doesn't help anything as she is such a strong willed little lady already, I observe her behaviour and mood and set a pace that makes sense for the day.

She is my natural.

17/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: I love receiving packages in the mail, especially the ones from my mom and sister. Isla loves playing with the pretty paper they are wrapped in. 

Linking up with Jodi for the 52 project.

16/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: You love being outside. The moment the door opens you light up and a giggle pours out of you, eager to explore. 


Joining with Jodi for the 52 project.

Diapers, Rashes, and Why I Am So Glad We Choose Cloth.

When I was pregnant I knew pretty much right away that I wanted to cloth diaper. It was the least expensive option for us and with my skin being so sensitive I didn't want to put my baby in a diaper that would likely irritate it's skin. I did lots of research and I tried to figure out which cloth diaper would best suit us, in the end my mom decided to sew us a bunch of fitted pocket diapers and I lucked out. I was quite determine to make it work and we started Isla in cloth diapers a few days after we got home from the hospital.

I had some people that didn't think I would last but, my mom had sewn so many I didn't want to waste her efforts, and honestly I didn't find it to be much of an inconvenience at all. A little extra laundry sure, but I actually kind of enjoyed the diaper laundry, it was simple and small and cute.

I loved the diapers my mom made but I eventually found, as Isla got older, that I needed something a little extra at night. I tried stuffing my mom's diapers more but they got bulky fast. I eventually went to a local store and checked out the different options they had and picked up a few different diapers to try out, some bamboo prefolds, and a bunch of fleece stay dry liners.

I figured out which diapers I liked best for night time, which diapers allowed the most movement during the day, which diapers were easiest when we were out and about, and which diapers were easiest to wash while traveling. We got into a rhythm.

THEN...Isla got ringworm, and I had to start using a heavy duty cream that I couldn't use against the cloth diapers. So I thought, "hey I'll just start using disposable liners!", they are an easy solution for avoiding wrecking diapers and they make poop clean up more manageable. The doctor said that I should use the cream for about 4 weeks, the rash should be pretty much gone by two but continue to make sure it is absolutely gone. Seven weeks later Isla still had a rash, I was out of idea's and we had almost used up the entire HUGE tube of cream.
Okay.
Alright.
Try something else.
On to penaten. A week later it was looking a bit better but not 100%, and I was still using disposable liners. I was feeling pretty done and I so wanted to just have my baby girls bum feel better.
On top of all that I had done strip load upon strip load of laundry to make sure that if there was any bacteria on the diapers or any sort of build up causing issues, they wouldn't continue. After almost three months of bum rash, three days ago I decided to stop using the disposable liners and switch to a diaper friendly barrier cream. Um....I feel stupid, how did it take that long to figure it out. My poor wee child is sensitive to the disposable liners. Not to say she didn't have ringworm, I am pretty sure she did as her rash changed. I think that the ringworm got better but her rash never left because her poor bottom was reacting to the liners.

So, three days later and her bottom is almost all better and I am so thankful that we decided to cloth diaper. We have been so lucky to have it really cost us very little, my mom is wonderful and made most of them, besides that we were given a few from friends and I purchased just a few different things here and there because really, cloth diapers are so cute there are just moments I can't help myself.

If you have any questions regarding cloth diapering feel free to comment and ask them, or message me. I am by no means a pro but I have experience.

15/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: An evening just the two of us and you were being so sweet, so I let you stay up and and we sat in the back yard enjoying the last flicker of the sun. You snuggled into your blanket and tested out the grass with your fingers. It was a rather perfect moment just you and I.

Joining up with Jodi in the 52 project.

14/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: I left the door open to the bathroom for a brief moment and you ceased the opportunity to explore. You are full of curiosity and I so love watching you observe and examine the world around you, taking every chance possible to explore your surroundings. I love your curious nature.

Joining Jodi in the 52 project.

(I plan on writing a blog post soon, I just have been so busy chasing after this wee child of mine. Soon though.)

13/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: You were so sweet sitting on your chair, you only stayed there a few seconds before wiggling your way off and venturing into our yard some more.

I had planned to put up a different photo as I completely forgot about this one, it was taken at the beginning of the week during a quick moment outside, I am glad I scrolled through and re-found this one. Watching. She is always watching, my wee observer learning and as she watches keenly.

Joining Jodi for this weeks photo linkup.

12/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: this week you have needed mommy more. You are going through some major developmental leaps and if it means more snuggles for me I am all for it, my dear snuggly little girl.


linking up with jodi for the 52 project.

One

One. (plus some, I know this is a wee bit late)

One year since my world changed forever for the better and my heart grew in a way I couldn't have imagined even possible.

One year since I watched the man I loved become a father and take on the roll with such remarkable love and pride. He was so taken by his daughter his eyes were misty for days, and he would just hold her and gaze at her, his heart was so full of love and watching him with our daughter filled my heart.

One year. I have been a mother for one year.

I will treasure this year forever. The biggest, most remarkable, year of change in my life and a first I will never again encounter. I have joined a new tribe, the tribe of motherhood. How special this year has been.

One year of doing anything to get a smile, or better yet a giggle.

One year of nursing and providing my child with nourishment.

One year of falling in love all over again, not only to my sweet daughter but to my husband as I watched him grow into his roll of father. Nothing is better then watching my husband nurture our daughter.

One year of diaper laundry and happily folding tiny socks, although I can't say I am close to on top of my own laundry.

One year of sunshiny smiles in the morning, as if to say, "mommy! I've been looking forward to seeing you ALL night!"

One year of Isla.

Isla. My sweet, affectionate, mischievous, strong-willed, social, clever, contemplative, happy, smiley, little girl.

To be a mother is such a deep connection, rooted in an almost instinctual love. When I see her, watch her, attend to her, it is as if I am doing all that to myself as well. She is such a part of me now it is hard to see myself without.

One year of bitter sweet moments as my tiny baby passes milestones. I draw in a breath of excitement and breath out a sigh of nostalgic sadness, oh how my wee baby has grown. Time passes so quickly, each moment is so fleeting.

I have been told that there is a lot to look forward to, and I have an understanding that that is true but, I also know that living in each moment and breathing each moment in is really what I want to do. Why would I look forward to the future when I am loving each moment in the present. What is at one point the future will eventually became the present and I can enjoy it thoroughly then. I don't need to hurry my baby, I don't need to push her to grow up, I would much rather watch her and learn from her as she observes the world around her and learns and grows.

My dear daughter,

You have taught me more in this one year then life has taught me in any others.

You are my sunshine.

You brighten my day and lift my spirit without even knowing, one smile, a giggle, a coo. You are a blissful interruption to business and a constant reminder to slow down.

You are spirited and spunky. The way you push your bedroom door open and crawl towards the stereo ready to dance, occasionally stopping to pull the diapers out of their cupboard, makes my heart sing. I hope you always enjoy dancing the way you do now!

You are strong willed and know what you want. You are confident. Don't ever let anyone make you believe this is a bad quality, it will push you to continue and give you strength when it is hard.

You are affectionate and nurturing. You give hugs so freely and kisses now too. You pat us on the back and when you see another baby crying you become very concerned.

You are mine, and will forever be. You are part of me and I will never stop loving you. You are written in my heart and on my body, you are my daughter and I love you forever.

11/52

A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: for some reason this portrait just seems like the epitome of toddlerhood - which I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that you are now more a toddler than a baby - the overalls, the ducky onesie, the expression, you are just looking so much more grown up and it blows me away. 

10/52

A portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: gnawing on a sippy cup. This week has been a wee bit rough, you have been feeling off since Thursday and been fairly fussy, but boy do you find pleasure in your sippy cup. Not necessarily for it's purpose of hydration but more for the fact that it is really nice to chew on.

This post is a wee bit later than I meant for it to be but it has been a busy week. Isla had her first birthday on March 8th, I am working on a post for that, and with her being off I just haven't managed to keep up as well as I would have liked. Here it is though, I did manage to get it up this week!

9/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: A wee game of catch with grandma. There are a lot of different photographs I could have used this week but when your grandma showed me this one that grandpa took of you I knew it was the one. This is your smile, and has been forever. My dear you smile with your entire body, a trait you may have gotten from me. You radiate this pure bliss and when people see you smile like this they just can't help but smile too. Keep on smiling my love, the world smiles with you.

Pacing.

(written on Thursday, February 13, 2014) 

the ground beneath me is sinking as I pound my feet walking back and forth, hoping my wee child will eventually grow tired and exhale a deep sigh, casting relief on both of us.

Her poor body trembles in my arms as it suffers its first cold. Her wee lungs cough and her body shakes, what is she to do with this new and unpleasant sensation. She cries and big tears roll down her cheeks, I pace.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

I rub her back whispering sweet nothings in her ear. I tell her she is so very loved. Singing as I sway and walk.

4:30 am quickly rolls through and becomes 6:30 and I finally am able to lay her head to rest in her bed. My legs are stiff, aching, tired. My body longs for rest. I walk to my room and lay myself out on the bed, sleep falls upon me like gravity and all to quickly is taken away.

A cough.

A cry.

My baby awakes. Again she heaves her aching lungs and fills the house with her own little earthquake. I roll over hoping I just imagined such a sound. Again she cries. I force myself out of bed, her cries pull me to her room. She sees me and her face fills with relief as she heaves heavy breaths, her bottom lip bulges in the most heart wrenching pout. 
I rock her in my arms.

Back and forth. 

As we walk the small hall back to my bedroom. She pulls herself into me nestling her head against my chest, and nurses. She is rhythmic. Her poor nose so congested she struggles as she nurses, latching and re-latching as she soothes herself with my milk. I stroke her hair and cheek, damp with tears and sweat. It was a hard night. As she nurses she slowly slips back to sleep. She is mine, I am hers.

8/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: This photo captures you so perfectly. You are such a happy baby with such zest for life. You start each day so eagerly and find such fun in the simplest of things. I hope you never lose this excitement and enthusiasm for life.

We call this wee corner in our house, where all the doors meet, Isla's corner. It seems to be her favourite place in our house. She sits in the corner babbling to herself laughing and smiling as she crawls from door to door knocking on them and trying to push them open. If dad or mom are behind one of the doors she babbles as them and smiles when we respond then continues to knock and babble at us. It is one of the sweetest things and it keeps her so entertained for so long. I am truly enjoying this stage of discovery and so love the way she is so excited about everything around her. She brings me such joy.

7/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: I love how much you love your stuffies, you love snuggling into them and are always so happy to play with them. Kissing them and hugging them. You are such an affectionate little lady.

I have been feeling like I can't keep up lately with taking photos. This girl keeps moving and all I have been getting are images of a blurry girl. Time is moving so fast and so is my little lady, we are quickly rounding the bend of a year, and I feel like I need to take a breath. She is such a mover, and is so very strong willed, we will be so very busy once this baby starts walking and she is so close. She just goes, and goes, and goes, and goes, she doesn't stop.

6/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014.

Isla: My dear girl the way your hair sticks up and does its own thing makes me smile. This last week you have become much more strong willed and have thrown a few tantrums in hopes of getting things your way. You are becoming more and more able to communicate your wants to us too, signing, pointing, grunting at us to be sure. Your a little spitfire full of spunk, I am excited to see what you have in store for us.

5/52

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: This little lady is a watcher, always observing and taking in her surroundings. I love to see her eyes taking in everything around her, excited as they look in all directions. I look forward to hearing her little voice speak all her observations.

A Letter

Dear Isla,

You are quickly approaching your eleventh month of life and it seems as though we are running quickly to that milestone of one year of age. How is it that my wee child, my little baby girl, YOU are almost a year old. I feel like this year has gone so slow in some spots but light speed in others. Your body now wraps around me as I nurse, once you fit in only one arm. Your little hands reach up to me and your fingers try to play in my mouth as I feed you. You smile between gulps and so love the conversation we have with our smiles and our eyes. 

On the day you were born I was consumed with such an overwhelming sense of love, I had a hard time believing you were mine, now I look at you and in some many ways it is like a reflection. Not because you look like me, which you do, but because in so many ways your are a deep strong part of me. I can't imagine my life without you. You have consumed my thoughts, my heart and my mind. You are MINE.

You are such a social girl, crawling all over determined to meet others and be the center of attention. You draw people in with your smiling eyes and your infectious giggle. You are a happy girl, most of the time, and love to play! You are BUSY...you like to go! go! go! Except when your sad, or hurt, then your body trembles and big tears build up in your eyes, your arms so quickly reach up for me and you snuggle your head into my chest. My body aches when you cry. Sometimes you are sad because you are hurt, sometimes your are sad because you want something you can't have, or sometimes you are sad because you just need to be held. Thankfully, for the most part you are VERY happy.

My dear girl you still have so much growing to do and so much knowledge to learn and I am sure the years will flash right by, but I want you to know deep down in your heart that you are SO LOVED. In this moment, in this year, at this age, from the moment you were conceived and forever more you are LOVED. 

4/52

Better late than never.

A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: More and more independent. Crawling away, only turning back to check that I am still there, I can barely keep up. I savor the cuddles and snuggles I get as they are further and further apart.

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A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

Isla: My little social butterfly. When we are out and about, especially at our Friday Ladies and Babies group, she is off! Crawling after other children, chatting up other moms, only ever looking back to make sure I am still around. She loves being around other people and, as long as she isn't getting into trouble, I quite enjoy it too!

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A Portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014

 Isla: She pulls at the gate as her dad works in the kitchen eager to get his attention. She seeks us out like never before, she is a VERY social little lady.

2013: The Year of Isla.

When I was pregnant with Isla I had all these dreams and idea's of what I would do during my year of maternity leave. I thought I'd be so on top of everything! I was planning to do at least a monthly, if not weekly, blog post. That my humble blog would somehow become a sensation and it would take off. I was planning to become organized, a top notch home-maker, you know one of those pinterest perfect mothers. I know, it is silly. I was pregnant though and I was FULL of all kinds of anticipation.

Then came Isla...

(one week old...or so)

(One Month)

(Two Months)

(Three Months)

(Also, Three Months)

and time flew by and I had little time for things so much less important. You see, my daughter is growing so very fast and I don't want to miss anything. Time with her is invaluable.

(Four Months)

  

(Five Months)

(Six Months)

(Seven Months)

This year, I will try to do better but, I can't make any promises. I am planning on posting at least one portrait of Isla a week, besides that we will see what I have to time do. My wee girl is growing...and time is flying by.

(Eight Months)

(Nine Months)

We can call 2013 the Year of Isla because, in so many ways it was. We are so enjoying watching our girl grow and soaking up each moment we can while she is still so little. May you be blessed this year! I have a feeling 2014 is going to be full of fun too!